A view from Neuschwanstein, the favorite castle of King Ludwig || of Bavaria
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9.21.2000 @
"To those people who say, `My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say `Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade off."
-Bill Maher
The Sanctity of life. Is there such a thing? Sure, it's not right to kill people. As a person I feel the idea rather disturbing. What about other kinds of killing? Killing cute or majestic animals sounds bad too. What about bugs? We can all think of some bug out there we wouldn't think twice about making extinct. Next to killing for food, there is no more accepted killing then the killing of insects. So life is sacred unless it annoys us or is tasty.Affidavits from meat inspectors re: contamination, such as the following sample: "Company employees told us that rats were all over the coolers at night, running on top of meat and gnawing at it … [W]e saw fecal contamination get through-up to one-foot smears-as well as flukes [liver parasites], grubs [wormlike fly larvae that burrow into the cow's skin and work their way through the animal's body], abscesses [encapsulated infections filled with pus], [hide] hair, and ingesta [partially digested food found in the stomach or esophagus]" ... "Cows are slaughtered that have been dead on arrival, some so long they are ice-cold."People question PETA and if you look long enough on the internet you will probably find any evidence you need to support whatever story you have. Are Lima beans smarter then we think? Is tofu bad for you? Where is the truth? Holding a belief to me is like planting a flag in quicksand. How can I believe stuff in the Bible when it contains the ravings of Leviticus and other blatant errors? How can I condemn the killing of a cow when insects and people are killed because they annoy or break rules? I may not eat meat now because I'm trying to eat more healthy (whatever that means), but plants are just as alive, they just 'move more slowly.' How much can I trust what people say? I have a good imagination and I'm sure people can make up some great stories about life and try and get people to follow them. When it comes down to it, all I have is a guess and at times like these with holier than thou politicians and other fevered egos I feel like becoming a Militant Agnostic because... I don't know and you don't either! - Irony is not dead in Lesbos. - Religion claims another former rebel. - How old are you exactly? -Did you ever wonder what would Brian Boitano do? - When Carmack speaks I listen. - When King writes... - Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and wonder why people in India love Cricket? - A list of the new Magic cards. - This is looking like my last update until I arrive in my new and yet to be found apartment in Seattle. My email is now working so you can expect to be ignored until then.
9.14.2000 @
9.11.2000 @
"the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, not freedom from religion."
-from Lieberman's August 27th speech at the Fellowship Chapel Church in Detroit
Such a liberal translation of The Bill of Rights hasn't been missed by everyone.Amendment I: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.Such confusion on the wording of something is not too uncommon a thing.
"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty"
-Jefferson
The latter examples at least do not twist the meaning of the source. One can clearly see that the first Amendment is getting attacked on all sides. I wonder if the greed of big corporations, the fanaticism of religious folks, and the hubris of the judicial system are gaining enough ground to merely ignore our rights then bother to change the law to legalize their actions. It is very clear that politicians don't trust our children to play nicely. The fights in courts could spill out to the streets. Soon every thing that suggests violence will have to be veiled barring a mutable young mind might be molded into a mass murderer. Nor do they trust anyone to support the artists whose music is freely shared. Such a lack of trust is inevitably mutual and no relationship can survive without trust. Since we the people have all sorts of distractions in life it is clear that they may win. If they feel like the tide has turned against them, they can always stir the coals and test out the latest toys as a bonus. Don't think about heading to Canada to get away when the next war comes either. So Hollywood better start praying that the media fueled violence around the country wanes enough to rob the wind beneath the censorship wings or start getting the lawyers in gear. That's what it all comes down to. New technology, new creativity, and plain old revolution all must pay the lawyer. - A nasty nip or healthy clip - I have talked about Barbelith before, but this looks like one of the longest posts I've scene in a while. If you have not read any the Invisibles comics yet, so are missing out on some nice subversive ranting. Speaking of subversive comics, the Preacher series has just reached it's conclusion and if you have not read any... - Random thought of the day: If the law of the conservation of energy is true, then death is only change and there is no end as there is no beginning. Should I still buy life insurance?9.9.2000 @
"In ancient days the most celebrated precept was, "know thyself"; in modern times it has been supplanted by the more fashionable maxim, "Know thy neighbor and everything about him."
-Samuel Johnson
How true. You also have to be on guard from the followers and beasts of cthulhu. - A gate crashing Castro suduces Clinton into pressing flesh. "It just happened, you know?" Clinton claimed. - The link between super models looks and brains has been discovered. - Its tough to have a gay vacation. - Musicians learn to control their brain activity to enhance their musical performances. - A lucid essay on weblogs. - A movie depicting a Argentinian man's quest to win back the Falkland Islands by getting as many women there pregnant as he can has been made without anyone there realizing what they were doing. - Is Howard Stern right about the quiet love affair this country has about lesbians? After all the flack about Gay scoutmasters there was never a peep about if the Girl Scouts had any similar problems. - The line between sanctioning a government and its people is nowhere to be seen.In a hard-hitting special report, award-winning journalist and filmmaker John Pilger investigates the effects of sanctions on the people of Iraq and finds that ten years of extraordinary isolation, imposed by the UN and enforced by the US and Britain, have killed more people than the two atomic bombs dropped on Japan.I'm reminded of the movie, Three Kings, and how the media has ignored the effects of the war on the people of Iraq. It may have something to do with why I haven't finished Manufacturing Consent. Chomsky writes that the powers that be control the messages of the media. I feel that the people don't want to face the truth. We want to make this mental separation from our government's actions to protect us from their dichotomy. Yet, there is the haunting echo 'of the people, for the people, and by the people' that pains us like a pebble of guilt in our shoes. It's this same guilt that has brought us The New Sanctimony. To take a Freudian leap of faith, it was George Carlin that suggested war was nothing more then a dick size contest and Clinton's actions have truly shown which head was following the other. I have no wonder why the amount of executions under George W. Bush is widely known or why Gore made that convention kiss. It's not that we want a lover or a fighter in office. We want both. Let's take Bob Dole. We knew he was a fighter, but we had no clue about the love department. While at the time Clinton promised his ability to fight by supporting the Gulf war and we knew he was a lover because he could feel our pain. Bob Dole discovered Viagra too late and it cost him the election. Nader has proved that he likes to fight big bad business, but we don't know what he'll do with the big bad military. We also don't think this geek is any great lover. Since he has the same ad team that worked for Jesse Ventura we can only hope they pick up the slack here. Jesse's ads featured the fully posable Ventura action figure fighting special interest guy and then featured a naked Ventura in the classic 'Thinker' pose. I don't think the latter trick will work with Nader, but sex is necessary and if you can't win them with looks you may try humor.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
-Mel Brooks
Before I further diverge from politics to sex, I want to point out that if you live in Illinois and want to have Nader on the ballot then you should click here. OK. - It seems that there are enough women online that the odds of finding one are pretty good. Of course, the odds of finding the right one for you might be around 157,060 to 1 , which is strangely similar to the odds I heard for being struck by lightning. Remember the old cliche about how love can strike? No need to worry if you are a geek or just really tired, the web can help. You don't have to be as smart as Britney Spears to think that because you have the sex appeal of Arthur C. Clark you can't win your own hot goth chick. While we may have been messing with the biological factors of sexual attraction with technology there is the question as to why we struggle at all. Could we learn to be just as happy as celibates?women with whom men had no prospect of having sex seemed to hold a special place in many culturesI wonder if this is the success of strip clubs. As Chris Rock has said, 'No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champaign room." - Random thought of the day: Is it just me or do those Teletubbies bear an uncanny resemblance to the evil puppet in Brazil?
9.6.2000 @
In this story there are no heroes or villains, just people who believe they can buy happiness, and advertisers who support this belief. Consumerism is one of religion's modern replacements, and, like religion, it actively encourages, then exploits, dissatisfaction with everyday reality.- PETA has no class. - It looks like Baal's butt is to be kicked in the expansion to Diablo 2. Due 1st quarter 2001. I've found this game to be a subtly simple synchronicity of fun and addiction. - I found this interesting article about how the Vatican is letting everyone know that while they respect other religions, they are the only one offering salvation. It struck me a little differently then others and while I gave one reason, I have thought it over a bit more. Not that the Pope gives a flying nun about who wins the American presidency this year, but I think he has hit apon some new trend in the global conscious. Is it a question of, "What have you done for me lately?" and the Pope is saying, "Salvation!" or something else? With both major candidates brandishing their religions like badges of courage from a modern society obsessed with reality and enjoying the benefits of 'godless' science there is some suspicion that religion never exited stage left. It was merely changing in the background and as ever so close as halloween is to election day that we had not noticed. There could very well be a new trend of religion shopping going on. The nouveau riche dot-com set might be experiencing a bit of a quandary as to their place in life after spending all those long hours to achieve financial success. After all, this is the country that has spawned more religions then fast food franchises. I'm waiting for the next infomercial to sell a do-it-yourself religion kit.This has spread its contagion by the winds of American media influence. So now a flashpoint like Diana's death can send people into a frenzy. Enough of us have some sense to be sickened by such a display, but some are clever enough to turn it into an entertaining story. How much separation from Crowley's "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law" is "Worship what thou liketh best."?
"Who loves you and who do you love?"
-A game show host asks the audience in the Arnold classic 'The Running Man'
- I was listening to Steven Wright's comedy album, I have a Pony, that I just picked up a week or so ago. At the beginning of track 12, Winny, he told a joke that I know I heard before in a recent radio commercial."For a while I lived in Vermont with a guy named Winny. We lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If we wanted to cook something we had to take a sweater off real quick. Wanna run a blender we had to rub balloon on our head."I'd like to hope that he sold that joke. After the fall of the comedy club boom, I haven't really been to any local clubs. I wonder what he is up to these days. He doesn't appear to have a website, but he is not lacking for having his material all over the internet. A strange thought occurred to me when looking on the back of the CD case. In parenthesis was "All songs written by Steven Wright." Coming from a stand-up comedy album with no real songs, could it be that the reason we don't see a lot of him is that he is writing all the songs we hear? Another comedian, Rich Hall, has all but vanished from the media eye. I hear that he was the King of Comedy at Edinburgh's Fringe Festival a little while ago. While one can find the usual fan sites, it is a bit disconcerting that the only interview I found was ten years old. I actually met Rich a while back. It was during my brief valet parking days. While I didn't get to see his show (having to actually do what passed as 'work') I did get a fuzzy picture of us goofing off. Yes, the scanner is not here yet. Another comedian I met at the same club was Jimmy Walker of Good Times fame. His head was shaved at the time and while seriously gripping about his hotel room's lack of cable he actually took my ribbing of his performance in the movie The Guyver rather well. Actually he was pretty damn shocked that anyone had even seen it. I suspect that was what he and Mark Hamill had hoped.
8.31.2000 @
Men are like the earth and we are like the moon; we turn always one side to them and they think there is no other.
-Olive Schreiner
I've been mulling over what to say about the struggle of the sexes. Internet technology is now helping women become more and more independent by allowing them through it's inherently anonymous nature to take a bigger part in business. I wonder how the males are faring. Some see this as a time of crisis. Men can't rely on the allure of their traditional provider role. Some see dire events on the horizon.Phallic man, authoritative, dominant, assertive - man in control not merely of himself but of woman - is starting to die, and now the question is whether a new man will emerge phoenix-like in his place or whether man himself will become largely redundantIn his new book Anthony Clare expresses concern for males. A lot of males can't cope with the new social demands. I'd like to think of this as evolution of sexuality and those that can't adapt suffer. It is damn simple logic when you get down to it. Women have been changing and men need to change too. The problem is that the required change to a lot of men feels gay. So they resist and marriages fall apart or never happen. Single women are trying to get organized. Why? Could it be to come to a consensus that there are very few males out there that have kept pace with the changes in sexual roles. There are still quite a few social stigmas that a truly free single woman must face. Sex is an inescapable aspect to every action. No eyebrows are raised when the guys pose.
"There are just a lot of men there, including, I'm sure, in the newsroom, who just kind of resent women's success," says Linda Steiner, associate professor and chair of the department of journalism and media studies at Rutgers University. "And so to sexualize her and sort of treat her as a pinup is a way of cutting women down to size."The fact is that the attitudes towards sexuality are changing and the fight against changing standards is always headed by those least in touch with the rest of society. The continuous overtures about classic values does not recognize the negative aspects those values had that forced the change in the first place. Change is an unavoidable aspect of life that people seem to appreciate less, as they grow older. As natural as change is when forced it can cause considerable problems. There is growing evidence that culture can color perception. Such things as the illusion of integrity may not be universal. So, when forced into a new constitution, we can't blame the Japanese for becoming as screwed up as we are. When we bombed the hell out of them and got them to submit, we were not satisfied with just winning the war.
Esman recalls an incident in which Richard Poole, disturbed by the provisions of Article 9, discussed the matter with Colonel Charles Kades, who headed the twenty-four member drafting team. "Isn't it," Poole asked, "a bit impractical to send Japan out into the world with a constitution that does not even allow it the right to maintain a military to defend itself from aggression?" Kades' response was simple and direct: "Do you know where the idea came from?" Poole: "MacArthur." Kades: "That's right." End of conversation."We felt to need to reshape a people that we thought required change. This change is owed to one woman, Beate Sirota Gordon. The struggle to rise from the past continues there as it does here. Peace is obtainable for everyone. It requires patience, understanding, and time. - A tale of suicide and deception. - The crackdown on European football hooligans begins. - No, I have not been ignoring you. My email forwarding is screwed up. I will try and fix the problem. In the meantime, send your spam here. - Snappy dresser is almost online. - It's official, I'm moving. Physically, that is. After 27 years in and about Chicago I am moving to Seattle. Rest assured, I will continue to assault this web space with my mediocre mental mumbling.
8.30.2000 @
"Let's put the ho back in hobo!"
-Firecracker, a 25-year-old anarchist train rider
This was her slogan for last year's King and Queen of the Hobos election at Trampfest 2000. She was denied her crown because it was feared she would be a bad influence on the kids. So what about the hobo presence on the web? Aspiring hobos may want to check out the National Hobo Association. It's a good idea to be aware of hobo history. There are quite a few hobo related web sites. - Aspiring truckers may want to study these 10 codes - A student walks out during moment of silence and gets a detention. As long as we as pushing the boundaries of the separation of church and state it makes sense to punish those that don't want to participate. The fine line of the case may only be the permission aspect of leaving a classroom, but to force attendance is religious intolerance. I still don't understand the need for prayer in school. There are many opportunities to pray during the day. This is a ridiculous issue. We can expect Lieberman to push for more of these types of laws. From The Progressive Review:The national section of today's New York Times carries an article under the headline "Lieberman Seeks Greater Role for Religion in Public Life." The article contains the following sentence: "Unlike many conservative Christian politicians, Mr. Lieberman has not taken positions like advocating prayer in schools or saying that religious groups should take over much of the burden of social services now shouldered by the government -- a position taken by Mr. Bush, the Republican presidential nominee." This is just outright false . . . Mr. Lieberman is on record in a brief before the United States Supreme Court as having advocated exactly that. The case was Wallace v. Jaffree, in which students challenged the constitutionality of an Alabama law permitting teachers to lead their classes in a prayer that said, "Almighty God, You alone are our God. We acknowledge You as the Creator and Supreme Judge of the world. May Your Justice, Your Truth, and Your Peace abound this day in the hearts of our countrymen, in the counsels of our government, in the sanctity of our homes and in the classrooms of our schools in the name of our Lord, Amen." Mr. Lieberman, who was then serving as attorney general of Connecticut, sided with the Reagan administration's Justice Department, the Moral Majority, the Christian Legal Society and Governor George C. Wallace of Alabama in defending the statute. Opposing the Alabama school prayer statute were the American Civil Liberties Union and the American Jewish Congress. Mr. Lieberman even made a campaign issue of the matter in his successful run for the US Senate against Lowell Weicker, criticizing Mr. Weicker for opposing school prayer.It would be so nice if the PR would use permalinks. - A while ago, my Dad told me about a Benjamin Franklin impersonator. - Are you a Tetris fan?
8.29.2000 @
"And if the child is but a prophecy of the man, there are mighty few who will doubt that he succeeded!"
-Mark Twain
The friendship between Grant and Twain. - The Null Device points to the Belief system Selector. Uh oh, I came scored the highest (100) as a Neo-Pagan. - Lieberman calls for Americans to find a "constitutional place for faith in our public life." All in all he is more bark then bite. It's a fact of life for most political speeches to stir of feelings, but offer no course of action or thread of insight. It is annoying to have someone wave his religion in our faces in a political setting. Despite my past lamenting over the potential of his and Tipper's union in the White House, I really doubt that a Gore presidency will result in anything. It will be four years of stasis. Bush looks like four years of uncertainty and regression. If a miracle happens, Nader might be four years of corruption cleaning. If he's good at it, we are likely to see another assassination attempt as he might dig too deep. Perhaps, by an even greater miracle we elect Harry Brown. Hmmm, pot and prostitution get legalized, Government spending gets cut, taxes get cut in return and the GNP goes through the roof as more people are willing to work (less hours) to get money to party and get laid. Maybe the choice this year isn't so hard at all. I could always vote for someone that doesn't exist."--If each is taxed according to his weight, the truly heavy will literally start pulling their own weight. And that will help de-stigmatize obesity." "I'm for mandatory gun ownership. It's a simple safety issue. We require seat belts –– why don't we require sidearms? I believe every American –– man, woman or child –– should be in a position to return fire, you know, in their day-to-day life. If you know someone's armed, it prevents a lot of misunderstandings, or at least they get resolved quickly. A brief exchange, you're on your way to your next class. Or whatever.'I want to get back to Lieberman. Since he wants to take the mantle of moral crusader for our children. These children of ours only seem more violent due to heightened media awareness for such stories. Since the insanity of Columbine we have not seen a rash of mass murder. Where is Trenchcoat Brigade 2000? It's bad enough that now the FTC is starting to think that marketing violent games to children should be illegal. There are violent comics, movies, songs, books, and toys and somehow only a few crazy people seem to commit crimes out of everyone that is exposed to these things. Let us have a moment of clarity. No one can deny that everything that happens to people no matter how old they happen to be affects them in some way. The measure of this is purely and irrevocability individual. Some adults can be as adversely affected by Eminem's songs as some children. I often run rampant, screaming in agony, "When will the hurting stop?!" The idea that people are more important based on their current age is ludicrous. Children do not contribute anything to society except fuel the careers of annoying pop stars that will fade as soon as the new generation takes the reigns (NKOTB, Debbie Gibson where are you now?). They do this with money siphoned from parents. They curtail freedom of expression, by making people reluctant to tell that punk that ran over your foot with his skateboard how you feel because that soccer mom leading a caravan of little joys will slap you silly as the young ones flip you the bird. In medieval times when everyone went to see the beheadings, little urchins didn't take up axes to their siblings after one of them stole their block of coal. I suppose it's best we sanitized the world so once our children pass through the curtain to the adult world they will be completely unprepared. - Sony pulls a "You got us all wrong folks," in response to the well-deserved backlash after Steve Heckler's anti-napster rant. - Find cranks online. If you are not sure what kind of a crank you are, try this. - Random thought of the day: Why do the police perform text book investigations when they are supposed to be investigating a crime?
8.28.2000 @
"We confess small faults, in order to insinuate that we have no great ones."
-Rochefoucauld
- Labels. The push to categorize generations or characterize nations seems a standard crutch to a consumerist driven media. Label em, package em, and pound the message home. The absurdity of gauging a collective American conscious often undermines most news stories today. Every shift of the popular winds send corporations turning their sails to harness it. The typical refrain of the magazine shows, "everyone's talking about…", echo the urgency of creating demand. But this is American. We are the land of everyone and no one. We are free to be different, to disagree, to sell out, and be programmed. - Last Thursday night I saw a bit of Politically Correct. Harry Brown, the libertarian candidate, was on the show. I have not really paid much attention to libertarians, but this guy was very impressive. Which is just perfect, since now I'm even more confused about where my vote will go. It would be cool if there was a way to design your own candidate. Mix and match issues; hit a button; ding; instant candidate. - Artists really need to ask themselves whether they want to depend on the fans for support or people like Hillary Rosen of the RIAA. After all, the RIAA cares a lot about artist's rights. Once more artists realize that all the perks and services that record labels offer can be usurped by more a direct channel. We may see an end to manufactured teenager blands. The anti-cyber-squatting excuse that the RIAA gives for their actions was so broadly written and it "turned out to be completely unnecessary.""On the one hand, RIAA creates all this flap about Napster and copyright infringement, while with the other hand, they've taken away artists' copyrights."
-Don Henley
- Warning, those Free trial offers on porn sites that want you to enter a credit card number for age verification are not always free. - The Daily Instigator dies so that Snappy Dresser may live. Lessons Learned:"First of all, the word 'Daily' in your title is a death sentence for your ego when you skip a day. Or in our case, a few weeks. Second, it's hard to arrange legitimate interviews with a word like 'Instigator' in your title. The most important moral: don't think of possible magazine titles while on your sixth beer of the evening."- The The Cyberathlete Professional League (CPL), an upstanding bastion of morality fortitude, has decided to enforce ESRB's ratings for its tournaments. - Last chance for Iridium? - The Playstation 2 is scheduled for release on Oct 17. The GameCube does not seem too much better. I find it amusing that they finally caved from the position on making it a cartridge-based console. I don't have any confidence that any decent games will come out for the GameCube except if you think rehashes of Mario, Zelda, and the like are worth it. Not to say that the Playstation 2 will not march out their usual suspects, Tekken, Twisted Metal, Metal Gear, etc. They have a lot more third party stuff going for them and the lead. Dreamcast? I seem to remember that used to mean something. - Ask Dr. Laura about the bible. From our buddies at Metafilter. - Disney is a big juicy target for conspiracy speculation. Not that they don't help us out when they attempt to form a corporate controlled town on Florida swamplands. Various folks have weighed in on the subtly evil qualities. Some ideas are merely the products of a backwards, fanatical mind. Yes, Thomas A. Carder is turning into a popular object of ridicule. A message that appears on his site;
NOTE: We have a zero tolerance policy about hateful, vulgar, and obscene mail. Without notice to the sender, such mail is automatically forwarded to the service provider for action in accordance with their Acceptable Use Policy. Threats are sent to the FBI. In the event it is discovered that the sender is a minor, parents will be notified.His 'gaydar' is so highly tuned that he can sniff out the homosexual innuendo of Doonesbury. Of course, he is such a servant of the Lord that when talking about a part of the strip, "While pouring two glasses of what appears to be the Merlot (whatever that is)" he shows his ignorance of libations or we are to assume so. I digress. Other opinions cast out towards the Disney camp are well informed, creative, and not taken so seriously. Disney is as fanatical about children as Mr. Carder. Carder sees himself as the uber-father protector of childkind. Disney wishes to create a world of fantasy to enthrall children to support the corporate entity. If the Disney message according to Carder is to promote sex, then it is sex with a bit of subtle fantasy (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs sounds like it could be a porno to me) to create more (consumers) children. - Before I head off to the succor of sleep, I leave you with a link to George Carlin's website. May he make you laugh, cry, or shake a fist of fanatical indignation.
8.25.2000 @
Well that's it for this week. Tune in next week for Disney conspiracies, the struggle of the sexes, and maybe even something about Siggraph. I could be lazy and just post another link frenzy.
8.24.2000 @
"Sony is going to take aggressive steps to stop this," Heckler told the Summer Forty-Niner. "We will develop technology that transcends the individual user. We will firewall Napster at source -- we will block it at your cable company, we will block it at your phone company, we will block it at your [Internet-service provider]. We will firewall it at your PC. "These strategies," Heckler said, "are being aggressively pursued because there is simply too much at stake."Good DVD news and reviews site. Is net censorship getting you down? No more worries! For all you poor folks on AOL, put a period at the end of any URL to bypass parental controls! Russian TV company suspended over subliminal messages Icons anyone? Michael Douglas Syndrome. Need I say more? Are you Fugly? Interview with Al 'Grandpa Munster' Lewis. Running late? Not if time doesn't exist. In that case, did the universe have a beginning? Is a new Talisman boardgame coming out ever? Consummerism: Good? Bad? Necessary?
8.15.2000 @
"Never put off till tomorrow that which you can do today"
-Franklin
Ben seemed to be on to something, but Aaron didn't think so."Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.—Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done."
-Burr
At last, Young saw it to its inevitable conclusion.Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fools, reform, and mortal men lay hold on heaven.Procrastination is the thief of time; year after year it steals, till all are fled, and to the mercies of a moment leaves the vast concerns of an eternal state. At thirty, man suspects himself a fool; knows it at forty, and reforms his plan; at fifty chides his infamous delay, pushes his prudent purpose to resolve; in all the magnanimity of thought, resolves, and re-resolves, then dies the same."
-Young
Procrastination has been a daimon of mine for quite some time. My thirst for variety leads me to have several things going at once and I can't always finish some of them. So I'm trying to actually organize my life a little better. One of the things getting worked out is my financial situation, because I have this habit of spending money whenever I can. The good old bank of Wachovia, whom I have the displeasure of carry a credit card with, decided that even though I have been making my payments on time 14% was too low and raised it to 25%. Needless to say I've been running the final scene of Fight Club in my head to compensate the rage I feel whenever I think about it.
I am putting off talking about Siggraph for now. Some people have talked about it a bit already and that will do for now. As far as Diablo 2 is concerned, I agree with what a lot of the critics are saying. T. Liam McDonald's column at Maximum PC though surprised me a bit since he claims to be a veteran gamer and game writer. Overall I think he's miffed that the game took as long as it did and didn't offer any revolutionary differences. First thing he goes after is how Blizzard failed to compensate ahead of time for the demand on battlenet. I've only played single-player or on LAN at this point because I expected it to happen. That's a minor quip."Diablo II's Save Game is cumbersome, and reloading levels causes monsters to respawn, creating a new litmus test for tedium."I see a chink in this veteran's gamer armor. How could you even type this after having played either Diablo? Monsters respawn so you can get more experience in case a certain "boss" or dungeon is too difficult to navigate at your current level. The next thing he whines about is the ad naseum resolution complaint. I'm glad they stuck at 640x480 since it would run so much slower on my ancient system. This is one of those rare games that will actually still run decently on the basic system quoted on the box. Besides, it still looks good and us veteran gamers that enjoyed computers (my old VIC-20) with 16 colors and 3k of memory. Overall, this game is what a sequel should be. A refinement and expansion on the original. That's why Quake 3 is a better product then Unreal 2. The product is not so much the game as it a game platform and the Unreal engine is a opengl dog. On the subject of games, tonight's parade of political pageantry and pompous pandering to the Gore/Liberman union sends the scary message home that they could be elected into office. Gamer's are concerned about Liberman's long time crusade to clean out the various media industries of all things that offend his fine sense of morals. I envision Tipper Gore to feel an election win as a validation for her censorship campaign against all those dirty lyrics. When Al swears in, Tipper and Liberman will raise their hands together and shout "Censortwin powers activate! Form of, First amendment eraser!" Since Al invented the internet he will show them how to unleash their powers here as well. The more I look at all the candidates, the less I like any of them. They all have their problems. I'm having more doubts about Nader, but he seems better then the usual suspects. The Libertarians have as much hope as the Reform party in getting any attention. As crazy as Nader seems with some of his plans, it seems that he will at least do some good work, much like I suspect Perot would have done even though Perot may be just a little too crazy. More people are weighing in about the state of the music industry. Ice T and Prince offer up some words.The poor RIAA and their music label buddies are looking at extinction as more and more people are waking up to the fact that they are being screwed by them. After all, there are plenty of signs that the music industry is dedicated to offering variety to the public so we should be happy with what is spoon fed to us on the radio.
"And then at the end of the song, I say half of the shit I say I just make it up to make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass. So I'm telling you that I'm making this shit up and it's pissing you off and you're letting me get to you. So when you let me get to you, you let me win, so I'm winning."Yes, Eminem speaks about his lyrical style. I couldn't have thought a more lame rationalization for his lyrics. I have no problem with Eminem really. He's a product of the mook movement that is channeling the energy of those with nothing else to focus on. The mooks don't listen to stuff like Crow and on the worst end, which may be the majority, they are just looking for some distraction from their own lack of direction in life. Taste is such a subjective thing that it gets trounced on by the masses. The Internet is ushering in the destruction of traditional bastions of opinion. Many may see this as a very bad thing. It will start pushing media to pander to the majority more and more. The majority seems to be a finicky beast to understand, let alone tame. Occasionally when it engages in excesses such as Vanilla Ice, there is a backlash that renders the unfortunate former subject of attention a shallow hole of obscurity and ridicule. When the high taste encumbered set among us slanders a current favorite of the majority, they are rarely willing to listen. After all, the cool crews residing in High Schools that tend to dictate these things rarely pay attention to such protests. It does make me understand the Harlan Quote from Ethel the Blog's site. A good friend of mine is taking a C course and the teacher set out a rather strict set of rules about attendence and such on the first day. This resulted in all those not serious to drop the course. The teacher was then able to concentrate on teaching a dedicated audience. OK, I'm slow, but I eventually get these things. I picture the distribution of taste looking like the traditional bell curve with maybe a slight lean toward the bottom, since almost everyone can hardly suppress a grin to a dick joke. Which is why I think Bush and Dick are going to win. For a long time the upper echelon of taste has had a semi-firm grip on what has sailed along the media channels. The levels of exposure are bound to change. People are still going to create things for all levels of taste, but we will see more and more of the Britiny Spears treatment to mass media forms. This will become a science of consumer thought as internet usage data is analyzed and applied. Shows like 'Making the band' are evidence of how the next new thing will be engineered.
8.4.2000 @
"Education is the living room of my life."
-Laura Bush, not making any sense in a rambling speech during the 2000 Republican National Convention.
It has a while since I've been able to sit back and peck away at this keyboard. Part of the reason is that I spent last week in New Orleans to attend Siggraph. The other reason has to do with work and how I've already managed to go over 40 hours this week and it looks like I won't be able to rest till Sunday. I didn't even get home tonight until almost 2am. Then there is the fact that I bought Diablo 2 last month. So while coming home pretty late every night I still managed to catch some tidbits of the Convention on the late night news. I was bemused to see Colon Powell come up to support Dubya. It should comes as no surprise to see Colon behind Bush and Dick. It was worth watching John McCain kiss Dubya's ass even after all the crap Bush's machine pulled on him."I support Governor Bush. I am grateful to him. And I am proud of him."It was a good thing John was standing behind a podium so no one could see his balls shrivel as he uttered those words. Overall, I have come to realize that for all the hope I had in Nader the Republican ticket is a must vote for anyone with even a smidgen of comedic inkling. That was what did it for Bush senior when he pushed Dan into the spotlight and we all got lessons in creative spelling. Almost any political story can be mired in pubescent humor. When there is war we can get headlines like: Army General debriefs Bush and Dick. or even everyday announcements like: Bush and Dick to make appearance at town hall meeting. will benefit. Oh well. I had to do it, since I've been away and not looked at the hoards of similar takes on this development. From the Progressive Review:
GUARDIAN, LONDON: In the US, the government is very partial to telling you that you are living in the land of the free and the home of the brave - well, it sure ain't free," says Harrelson. "I believe that, in a truly free country, you should be able to choose the drug you want, as long as you are not harming anybody else. Now, everybody's a drug-addict, children are addicted to sugar, caffeine and pharmaceuticals, every one of those kids who shot up the schools in the US were on some kind of pills. My best friend, Danny Platner, died from the use of alcohol, pills and tobacco, all extremely addictive drugs. All legalized and freely available. Put him in the grave at age 32 . . . "The most destructive drugs are all condoned by the government," he continues, "yet they criminalize marijuana, a lot of my friends are in jail for smoking pot (and the prison system is one of the fastest-growing industries, by the way), which has no proven side-effects apart from making you feel euphoric. So what's wrong with that? Every year hundreds of thousands die from tobacco, alcohol and pharmaceutical use - I'm sorry, I get emotional about this. But to my knowledge, nobody's ever died from smoking marijuana. And, believe me, some nights I've tried and you can't do it."The more I think about the drug laws in this country, the less they make sense. When you are addicted to a drug you are sick. It doesn't help to put sick people in jail. If you are not addicted to the drug then we only have to worry that you use it safely, just like for alcohol. Criminalizing a lifestyle only creates a sub-culture of criminals and undermines the freedom of every citizen. Laws enacted to fight drugs have to be more severe and more intrusive upon every person's rights all the time. If we would actually spend all that money going to into places like South America on prevention and treatment, we would actually not just be pissing it away. Only the most foolish or evil among us believe in more laws or police. Someone decided to post a rant about modern women on
6.17.2000 @
"We judge ourselves by what we are capable of doing; others judge us by what we have done."
-Longfellow
I've been gradually coming out of a fog that I walked into eight years ago. I don't like to think about a lot that happened to me. A lot of it was typical rebellious fun. Some of it got out of hand and some of it hurts me to think about. So I adopted the work hard play hard ethic. It was working until this year.Back in Elementary School I had a friend. At that time we were best friends. I remember going to the local Osco store and stealing Atari 2600 games that we could play on his system. I remember shooting bottle rockets along the street to scare the kids walking home from school. At least till the day we hit a cop car with one and were too afraid to do it again. When he came with my family camping once we went to the pool. I was at the other side of the pool trying to see how long I could hold my breath. Coming up for air I noticed a huge commotion. He had almost drowned at the deep end of the pool. I remember seeing him in the hospital, his parents had come. I didn't realize it at the time, but I felt as if it was my fault. A wave of nausea came over me and I stayed in the bathroom with my head between my knees for a long time. Much later I remember we had a fight at the school playground. I didn't want to be his friend anymore. He didn't want me to leave. I remember hitting him and pushing him down until he let go of me. I don't know why I did any of those things. I just remember how much I hated myself afterwards.
I think I tend to push people away when they get to close to me. I had to separate myself from friends that helped push me into that fog. I wonder if by knowing that I do this now, I can overcome it.
I've been doing a little searching and found this interview with Harlan Ellison and I think I understand him a little bit more. Coming from the same generation as my father it's not surprising to see his discomfort with the acceleration of society. My father resents payola DJ's pushing Jazz off the radio and I see Harlan viewing the internet in similar light. My generation laments how MTV has been perverted. The one thing I am not so sure about is the dumbing down effect. I suspect that people naturally rise to their own level of incompetence. We are only now more connected with the realization of how widespread this dumbness runs.
"The reason the world is so fucked up is because we're undergoing evolution. And the reason our institutions, our traditional religions are all crumbling is because they're no longer relevant. So it's time for us to create a new philosophy and perhaps even a new religion."
-Bill Hicks
I've just recently rediscovered Bill. I've seen him on Letterman and even read about him in the Preacher comic. He somehow hovered below my radar. We are all at a loss with his death. People like him remind us to not take life so seriously and to think about our actions. As long as we can have voices like this speak out against the herd mentality we can move on to some degree. All his rants, all his spouting of 'hate', is from a real love of life and its potential. It seems that Ray Bradbury doesn't offer up that much more confidence about people, but he does offer up some sound advice that folks like Eminem should take to heart.O: As a writer, do you feel like a teacher yourself? RB: You must be. You can't be self-conscious about it, but Dr. Schweitzer said years ago, "Do something good and someone might imitate it." So if you like my writing, you may very well imitate my passion.Further mining The Onion's AV section I found more interviews. This review with Fugazi's Ian MacKaye shows why music labels need to die. Capitalism needs to evolve. Another musician that I like, Mike Patton, was interviewed. His latest band, Mr. Bungle, is his best incarnation. He's probably one of the most talented musicians around. I have yet to see him in concert, damn it.
6.16.2000 @
"You may deceive all the people part of the time, and part of the people all of the time, but not all of the people all of the time."
-Lincoln
Napster may not have had very altruistic intentions at its inception, but it has caught on. My current take on the testimony of Lars Ulrich from Metallica is that his lawyers managed to smooth out an obsolete argument. My ego is so great, I'll even quote myself.Essentially the internet is a tool for exchange. When this exchange involves "owned" data there is a perceived loss of potential monetary compensation. The fear is that people will not fill this potential and that no one will get paid for anything that that appears on the internet. We will just have to ignore the fact that as long as software has been written, it has been pirated. A pirated copy is often available before it is released in stores. We will just have to ignore the fact that public libraries with books and videos exist in almost every city in the world. A lot of people make the argument that they wouldn't buy a CD if they could download it for free. I guess these are the same people that go restaurants and never leave a tip. After all, you don't have to tip. There is no LAW that says you do. The fact is that people do tip. A lot of people love to over tip. Lars cries out for control, but that's always been an illusion. He's never had control and he never will. All the control in the world is not going to get people to buy music. Laws are not going stop those that want to commit crime. His whole argument is selling humanity short on conscious and I am not buying that.A few months back I decided to enter one of my poems in a contest from poetry.com. So they thought it was at least good enough to publish in some book and on their site. I don't know if I won yet. Perhaps not, since this is listed for winning this month. What did come in my mailbox Friday was an invitation to join The Tenth Anniversary International Society of Poets Convention and Symposium. You can imagine my excitement. I am a nominee for Poet of the year 2000 and will get to read my work on stage and be "honored with two separate and very special awards for your poetic achievement." But wait, there's more… Tentative list of events: 1) Convention registration (OK, I guess this an "event")
He'd had a prenup with his previous wife / and sought to avoid any mischief or strife / by asking his bride for a prenup himself / to allow her to insulate personal wealth.and…
So while counsel raises issues that are worthy and well taken / in the end, we find the effort to apply them here's mistaken. We must conclude the issues raised do not warrant a new trial / and all that we may offer now is this respectful, rhymed denial.I think I'll do the same. To be hailed as a talented poet is one thing and to hailed for an extreme lack of talent is quite another thing. We all can benefit from William Blake tarot cards or quotes. On to more important matters, it seems that George Lucas wants to appeal to the masses a little more with the next Star Wars movie by getting Limp Bizkit to do the soundtrack. I can picture Weird Al writing up lyrics for "I did it all for the Wookie" right now. We can always drag Whitney Houston out for "The Force will always be with you." Let's get John "Cougar" for "I fought the Empire and the empire blew my planet up."
6.12.2000 @
"It is extremely interesting to me, the hope that the project seemed to awaken at that moment, and the sad evolution (lastimosa evolucion) of events during the years following the discovery, until now we once again draw back the veil' over the anti-tumoral power of THC, twenty-five years later. Unfortunately, the world bumps along between such moments of hope and long periods of intellectual castration."Microsoft and the Government need to listen to this man The lives of animals An interesting question arose from reading this. If we cannot know what it is like to be a bat, then we cannot really know what it is like to be another person? Sierra Leone
A young man named Mukhtar Jialloh escorted me around the camp. He spoke English well, which was rare. The rebels had found a journal that he was keeping. Like the Khmer Rouge, they singled out the educated for special brutality; many of them are, like the Khmers, country folk with a deep suspicion of learning and of city ways. Mukhtar had begged the rebels to cut off his left hand, since he was right-handed; for that very reason, they had cut off his right hand. While walking in Freetown recently, he told me, he had run into both the man who had bound his hands and the man who had chopped off the right one. It was a moment he had dreamed of. "I said, 'Do you recognize me?' They said, 'No.' I said, 'You ought to.' But I was in the long sleeve, and I presented my left side. Then I said, 'You see, you tied me up, and you cut me.' And then I took out my arm from my sleeve and showed them." A group of Mukhtar's friends gathered around. They wanted to take revenge for him. The rebels were trembling; they tried to give him money. Mukhtar wasn't about to let them buy off their guilt, but he was also either too gentle or too demoralized to want their blood. "I said, 'Leave them; the evil that men do lives after them.'"Media goofs 'There are Big Things Growing in Young Men's Pants.' Guilt
One of my earliest lessons in guilt was imparted in childhood through the story of the death of Mahatma Gandhi's father. Gandhi was only 16 then, married to Kasturba, who was pregnant at that time. He notes in his autobiography that although he loved to nurse his father as he lay on his deathbed, his "mind was hovering about the bedroom." Late one night, Gandhi was massaging his father's legs when his uncle came in to relieve him. Gandhi writes that he was tired and went to his room: "My wife, poor thing, was asleep. But how could she sleep when I was there? I woke her up." A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. It was a servant. Gandhi's father had died. "I saw that...animal passion had... blinded me," Gandhi wrote. The "shame of my carnal desire," he added, "is a blot I have never been able to efface or forget."QUESTION: What are the chances that the local Blockbuster has Storm Riders? ANSWER: None. Local ads for the Gurney Mills shopping mall feature a women that could use this. I have to hand it to this company. They have balls. Create a disease and its "cure." Buy some research and market the shit out of it! The National Post
"This may be the end of a 90-year window when it was possible to make money off recorded music,"
-William Gibson
New media corporate culture has no room for parents? I have been thinking about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and it's adoption as a principle in the macroscopic world. The current trends of television and Internet voyeurism try to offer up reality but can't. Reality cannot be bottled in a half-hour show or even channeled through a 24-hour live streaming video. If people watch TV to be entertained, then reality-based shows are akin to buying a "live" album. If people watch TV to see the "real world", then they are better off not watching it at all. PBS was showing another Nature documentary on humpback whales. They have determined that it's the males that sing. Their songs seem similar from region to region. The change is only in tone, like a local dialect. The divers must approach while holding their breath to hear the song better. When you are about 30 feet from a singing whale the force of the sound is such to vibrate your entire body. The researchers are trying to determine through genetics the mating behavior of whales. Whales breach the water forcefully at times to rid themselves of old skin and the researchers collect it. Once again Man goes to great lengths to discover how and why another species gets the girl. It's fascinating how they catch their food. Running deep they find a shoal of fish and begin a song to confuse them. They herd them in by releasing a ring of bubbles, much like a fisherman's net. The catch itself is an awesome sight to behold. With a mouth open twelve feet wide they break the surface and often swallow the entire shoal. It's good to be at the top of the food chain. After watching part of Conan O' Brian on 6.21.00, I was saddened to hear that after trying pot two times poor Sam Donaldson didn't get a buzz. Who is slipping Sam the bad weed? And why did he wait till he was 40 to try it? I want to start a new campaign to: Get Sam Donaldson High! He's now doing live webcasts on none other than ABCNEWS.com. Like I care. It might be entertaining to see Sam do his Max Headroom impression as my 56K connection chokes and spurts for 12 seconds. Write the stuff down buddy. We can't all afford DSL or justify the expense. The Boy Scouts of America has decided to push their homophobia out into the light and it really bothers me that something that used to be about fun can be seen as a haven for ignorance and intolerance.Baden-Powell believed that scouting's core virtues of selflessness and the cheerful performance of duty were as valid for the poor as for the upper and middle classes. "Everything on two legs that calls itself a boy has God in him," he insisted, "although he may...through the artificial environment of modern civilization...be the most arrant little thief, liar, and filth-monger unhung. Our job is to give him a chance." Respect for others, without class distinctions, was a scout's universal duty. Long before diversity trainers appeared to browbeat America, the scout law urbanely commanded boys to "respect the convictions of others in matters of custom and religion."This article goes on to explain how gay scoutmasters will hurt Scouting.
The New Jersey Supreme Court breezily declared that forcing homosexual scoutmasters on the scouts would have no effect on the organization. Seasoned scoutmasters know better. Francis Harty, a veteran Staten Island scoutmaster who has helped dozens of boys become Eagle Scouts, says: "I have no problem with a gay person in scouting. I'd have a hell of a time telling parents he's taking their boys into the woods." People will leave in "droves," predicts Baltimore scoutmaster Harry Shaw. "And we thought it was bad in the 1970s."Maybe Francis is right and every boy's parents are homophobes. Maybe they just need to put their anti-gay message in the handbook so the government can't force them to accept gay scoutmasters. Better yet they just need to buy a clue. Homosexuality does not mean pedophilia. Not a gay person on this planet is going to convince me to convert. No matter how bad my love life gets I won't become fair-weather-sexual. The reverse is true for them. Case closed. But hey, so are their minds. This same article still tries to shove this message that we need to save the crusading Boy Scouts because of their teaching of moral virtues. It also states that our moral crusade against bigotry has now allowed the government to invade our private institutions. It's not our fault that they never spelled out what "morally straight" meant. Maybe they should have just cut out the "morally" to remove any doubt. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Boy Scouts. Whatever moral message was supposed to be present got lost in the transition from cub scouts. I remember Boy Scouts as being a year round summer camp with strange uniforms. We didn't always get into trouble. Our scoutmasters words "I don't care what you do, just don't get caught" showed us the wisdom of discretion. This wasn't about being bad or good. It was about having fun. Speaking of nice institutions for children. Damn NY Times. Create a bogus account. We all do.
"When they say, 'Gee it's an information explosion!', no, it's not an explosion, it's a disgorgement of the bowels is what it is. Every idiotic thing that anybody could possibly write or say or think can get into the body politic now, where before things would have to have some merit to go through the publishing routine, now, ANYTHING."Now when you preface your weblog with a quote like this you are opening the doors of elitist pretense. So the guy has a brain. Congratulations. Time to start pissing on anyone below your intellectual bar. Let's try a little less whining and a little more leading by example. I admit that the first time I heard about Ellision was from his short-lived Dream Corridor comics. I don't hold any upper cranial caliber that I can't be knocked off. It just irks me to hold such a quote like a welcome mat by your front door to say "woe all ye who enter here of little literate ability." While it's true that anybody can write whatever they like, it is not true that this anything like publishing. This is a medium for exchange and communication. Actually I don't hold anything against him since it might be kind of strange to write a weblog of just amazing quality and see who gets webbys. Not that they mean anything, but when you celebrate mediocrity and let places like his go unnoticed your helping our culture slide into the gutter. After all, anyone that knows the joy that is Franziskaner Hefe-Weizen must be a freaking genuis. I first tasted it at Octoberfest in Munich a few years back. I still hold the Kloster Andechs Andechser Doppelbock Dunkel as my favorite. I like the bitter ones better. When Ellision draws a semantic line between science fiction and sci-fi it is to point out his sense of the decline of the genre. I think it's the typical sign of an industry's rise. It can now support the lesser aspects. Quality remains an individual observation and those of certain taste have to deal with the fact that a lot of people like trash. We all have our pet peeves and little crusades and sometimes it's so petty that my crusade is your pet peeve. Ah well, it's nice to know he's passionate about his craft. I know I do the same kind of rants for things I'm not even involved in. I am trying not to think about how Eminem's wife's recent suicide attempt is not 100% proof that his words do hurt people. I can't think about how greed has driven him to let become a mouthpiece of hate. Yeah, I don't want to get off on a rant. I should just buy some of Ellison's books and go back into my corner.
6.7.2000 @
6.6.2000 @
Statistics are no substitute for judgement
-Henry Clay
Statistics are quoted as much as scorned, but Henry hit the nail on the head. When certain statistics constantly point in a certain direction it should at least provoke more thought.Smoking kills about 30 times as many Americans as do drugs, and alcohol kills about six times as many. [CDC]The latest Counterpunch pulls no punches to the rampant insanity of our country's drug policy.
No sane person believes in the "war on drugs" any more. This implies of course that our nation's affairs are being directed by madmen, but you knew that anyway.Flip-Floping back to TPR brings us to the much more frightening prospect of increasing military force to fight the drug war on American soil.
The handwriting has been on the wall for a long time. Speaking before the 1991 National Guard Association Conference, Lt. General John B. Conaway, Chief of the National Guard Bureau, said: "Our commander in chief has declared war on drugs. Our mission as America's National Guard in this war is clear: make America drug-free in as short a time as possible using any means necessary no matter what the cost."It's nice to know our government is trying so hard to protect us from ourselves. Time's recent article on ecstasy shows that even with a drug that may help more then harm it doesn't stop the government from making people criminals for trying it. So if the government is not concerned with the harm a drug causes, what is the motivation for increasing the strictness of laws towards it? Could it be that the drug company's lobbyists are paying politicians to make sure Americans only get their chemical fixes in the form of things like Prozac or Valium?
"Dalai Lama Responsible For Rape, Cannibalism, Murder," Says Beijing. Perhaps the Chinese Government thinks that since the US can lie to their own people without much of a response, that they can try and spread such ludicrous lies about the Dalai Lama. The Chinese and the American people are sleeping giants and hopefully someday they will wake and end this bullshit.
May you live in interesting times. It was an interesting weekend for me. Saturday due to the generosity of good friends I was able to go out and about the Lincoln Park area. We saw Hellcab at the Ivanhoe Theater. At one point while we were walking in the cool night air I noted how I was the only one wearing just a t-shirt and still comfortable. I've always been more attuned to the cold then the hot weather. In typical John fashion I recalled my high-school graduation story to them. So when I pulled up Megnut's site this morning I felt that I had to deliver the goods here as well. High-School graduation for me happened at Haugan Public School on Chicago's north side. In the non-air-conditioned gymnasium we had our ceremony. It was a hot day and I was wearing a suit and the traditional cap and gown over it. We sung a bunch of songs including a version of Stand By Me which our English teacher insisted on changing the lyrics "we be jamming" to "we are jamming." As our set went mercilessly on I began to feel increasingly hot, dizzy, and nauseous. I stopped singing to try and restore composure. I've never had a "blackout" before and it was as if a curtain dropped over everything. I opened my eyes to see a bunch of people looking down at me. I was helped over to the doors that were open to the outside air and given some cold water. I was spared from further singing. My mother later told me how she saw me stop singing and thought that I had forgotten the words when all of a sudden I disappeared. Sunday I was able to hold the amazing seven-day-old miracle brought in to this world by the best of friends. It's so strange to hold a newborn. I was trying to imagine being so close to the beginning of life. This little girl had more hair on her head then I. I told my friends that I was going to go military style for the summer. I am tired of having greasy hair from putting suntan lotion on my bald spot and I hate wearing a hat. I wonder if there is such a thing as being a social meat eater? I am really good at forcing myself not to think about things when I'm hungry. I have so far managed to not eat meat today. I doubt I can maintain this through the week. I crave it.6.3.2000 @
I'm guilty and you're guilty too
Gravity Kills, 1997
It's no secret that I have not been going out to the bars and clubs much lately. Hmmm, March... So last night I made the mistake of going to Crobar with $25 bucks in my pocket. Lucky for me I know enough people in this world that I was able to get in without dropping $20 at the door. I've only been there one other time and I didn't even realize it. I was in for a mild shock when I got my first beer and the bartender asked for $4.75. Quickly it dawned on me that I needed to ration my beers and then further rationalized a no tip tonight policy. It was working fine until I went for beer number four and the bartender gave me a sarcastic "thanks" when I tried to slip out without even leaving a buck. I wanted to explain my situation. That normally, having worked for tips myself, I always tip. I made a miscalculation and I... Not too much later it was time to go and since I still had the money for beer five I walked up to the bar where that same bartender was busy making a drink. I dropped two dollars in front of her, but she didn't look up so I just left. As I was walking back to my car with my ears ringing. I have been to a lot of clubs and either I'm getting old or that place was way too loud. I still felt guilty. I've been feeling guilty a lot lately. It may have started after I stumbled on this guy's site and followed his link to meat stinks. I've always been a dedicated eater of almost any kind of food. I've been a member of the Dennis Leary school of thought for some time and PETA's actions have often lead me to more eye-rolling then critical thought. At some level I have this tendency equate vegetarianism with the rampant indignation of a peculiar cult that lives in denial of their own carnivorously canine teeth. Such prejudice never had strong foundation. This unconscious fact was apparent to an old vegan friend that used to (and perhaps still does) drive around in a white Jeep with black "cow" stickers and always seemed to regard my lack of vegetarianism as only a matter of time. I can feel the walls of the cult of meat begin to crumble and it's a little scary. Despite my hermitic tendencies I've always been able to go with the group and toss back beers, joints, and brats with the rest of them. Whenever I felt the need to mingle I could do so easily. I don't know if I can (pardon) quit meat cold turkey. I can't waste the food in my refrigerator right? Another tendril of the octopus of guilt that I've been wrestling with for a while is Copyright. Recently John Perry Barlow gave his thoughts on napster. While the aged Motely Crue gave their thoughts in a crappy flash movie. I kind of feel sorry for Metallica now, its one thing to have thousands of fans dis you on the Internet, but when Motely Crue takes the higher moral ground… Sometimes fear that when I start getting into a rant that I might fall victim to over-confidence.Now, if you are among the competent, you might derive some consolation from this research, since it implies that you are unlikely to be grossly overconfident. But perhaps you simply imagine that you are among the competent--precisely because you suffer from the overconfidence of the incompetent. And there is more to worry about. Overconfidence may decrease with competence, but other studies show that it increases with knowledgeability; that is, the more specialized information you have about something, the more likely you are to be overconfident in your judgments about it. Overconfidence also tends to rise with the complexity of the problem. This means that experts reasoning about difficult matters--doctors, engineers, financial analysts, academics, even the pope when he is not speaking ex cathedra--are apt to be seriously overconfident in the validity of their conclusions.I've always tried to be a humble person. I've always admired humility in others and I generally like to think that I'm succeeding in being humble. Am I overconfident in my own humility or is that possible? My brain is starting to turn inside out with the implications. I suppose I could try and learn from one of the masters. I've always considered Ghandi as one of the most important leaders of modern time. His simple secret to life, "Renounce and enjoy" is something so foreign to almost everything I see these days. It makes me wonder if society could ever cope with even half of the modern luxuries that it has created.
I know the path: it is straight and narrow
It is like the edge of a sword.
I rejoice to walk on it.
I weep when I slip.
God's word is: "He who strives never perishes."
I have implicit faith in that promise.
Though, therefore, from my weakness I fail a
thousand times,
I shall not lose faith.
-Mahatma Gandhi
5.30.2000 @
"I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists. I believe I have no lawful right to do so, and I have no inclination to do so."
- Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address, 1861
5.28.2000 @
You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.
- Tom Lehrer
A question from a recent interview with Tom Lehrer got me thinking.O: Which is more important, being funny or making a point? TL: Well, to me, being funny is more important, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor. We used to have [two-time Democratic presidential nominee] Adlai Stevenson in my day, but I don't know if there's anybody like that now. Bob Dole could have been; he was the closest. He seemed to have a sense of humor, but he didn't show it in the campaign. I would have loved to have Bob Dole come out and really say stuff. But after a while they tamed him, I guess, so it didn't work. Not that he would have won anyway, but at least we would have had a fun campaign.I always felt that Bob Dole seemed like he was too restrained, like he knew this great joke but felt he was never in the right company to tell it. It was quite a sight to see him extolling Viagra. It was just a little too late to help his campaign. Tom remarked that now political satire is difficult because "everything is so weird in politics…" but it seems to me that, coming from the perspective of his generation, life has become weird. It's the Old Man Syndrome. Yet, the youthful struggles to be free and different from previous generations hasn't resulted in much actual movement. The freedom movement has opened up its own Pandora's box. We fought for the freedom from tyranny in the 40's. We fought for the freedom from communism in the 50's. We fought for the freedom from authority in the 60's. We fought for the freedom from responsibility in the 70's. We fought for the freedom to be greedy in the 80's. We fought for the freedom to speak in the 90's. We have so much "reality" being thrown up at us that it becomes harder to recognize it from the rest. It's as if freedom has offered up this great bounty of choices, but all we feel is confusion and despair. We always want something new, especially if it stands far enough away from what has come before that you can't gauge its quality. It intrigues. We throw ourselves into it. We drink it up until intoxicated. It reminds me of the scene in S.L.C. Punk!. After one character talks about how Rush's music was so deep and complex and his friend offers that they should listen to some tape he just got because it was new. I've had WTTW channel 11 on most of today and I even called the 1-900-288-1111 number for the $10 donation. One of the programs, Citizen Hong Kong, gave an intimate glimpse into the lives of a few.
Maybe I'm scared of losing things. Maybe I'm looking for something I've lost.Ed Wu is a collector of culture. He lives surrounded by his collection of comics, toys, movies, and books. It's a warm blanket to comfort him from things like the loss of his father. It was strange for me to have such a simple statement resonate with me. Half a world away, separated by land, water, language, and culture for a moment I understood his motivation. Sometimes the most compelling stories can be told without words. Volkswagon's "Milky Way" ad is such a subtle piece that its true beauty may not be too obvious the first time you see it. Another of WTTW's programs today was Bob Hope: Memories of World War II. What serendipity! Memorial Day is tomorrow. I'll be 27 tomorrow. Bob will be 93 tomorrow. John F. Kennedy would have been 83 tomorrow. I've recently learned that the state dance of Illinois and 12 others is square dancing.
5.26.2000 @
You've got to Fight for your right to Party
-Beastie Boys 1986
I had just entered my teenage years when the Beastie Boys released their debut album, License to Ill. It's the first album I ever taped off a friend in its entirety. It was track after track of irreverent fun and I enjoyed it thoroughly despite a lack of any chemical additives. It wasn't until I was nineteen that I allowed myself to succumb to peer pressure and smoked pot from a RC Cola can in the back seat of a vintage 70's American car at a private camping grounds one hundred miles outside of Chicago. What happened for the next few years would probably make for an interesting book or movie. While I can't deny its effect on me, I never became indoctrinated into the temple of the five-pointed plant of peace and harmony. I cared even less about smoking cigarettes. I quit after nine months. It became apparent to me that I had the need to experience these things if I was to move on to the bigger disappointments in life. I am too curious a person. I did experiment beyond the wacky weed, but I could never bring myself to try things like heroin or cocaine. At some point I could extrapolate the result in the same way that I don't have eat excrement to know I won't like it. For all my curiosity, I am far too guided by a sense of self-control to plunge too deep into the chemical seas. Pot stood alone as the only thing I could do in excess without compromising my sense of control. If anything, it only made me more lethargic. This fact caused me to rationalize self-medication in a long-term bout with insomnia. It pains me to write that I didn't heed the warning from my godfather made in 87'. He wrote in my high school graduation autograph book about alcohol and how "The damn stuff never did anybody any good." It wasn't until last year that I really understood this. The details are few, but the basic facts remain. It was my birthday. I was at a party. I decided to get drunk. I succeeded beyond any doubt. I have vague recollections of being pushed from a parking lot toward grass where someone began to punch me in the face. I didn't like it and tried to fight back, but I don't think I hit anything. I passed out and woke up in the hospital. A week later I went to DMV. My license expired on my birthday. Since the whole process went digital I figure most .gov employees and hackers can pull up my mug anyway. I would rather have first crack at embarrassing myself considering I'm so good at it. Now that I know I lose control when I drink, I govern my consumption strictly. It has taken me some time to discover what I can handle. It is a dangerous game to play. I am far luckier then most in that I can even tell this story. I started playing the game at an age much later then most folks in my generation and it must seem like I waited forever compared to kids these days. If the fact that I started late saved me from a more tragic fate then if I had began bogarting bowls while first listening to "Paul Revere," then maybe we should all take to heart Chef's line from the South Park episode called "Ike's wee wee,"There's a time and a place for everything and its called college.For all of those that didn't lose their virginity on prom night college was only a summer vacation away. After college things get a bit more difficult.
American men may think they're studs - but a new survey suggests they're duds. The June issue of Men's Health says the average American guy has sex only 79 times a year. That's 11/2 times a week, only half as often as men in many other countries. Even more embarrassing is the revelation that American men masturbate almost as often as they make love.I am not doing my part in helping that average. I blame my self-control tendencies fueled by a fear of STDs. It's an excuse that helps my ego in the same way I equate my strong forearms to long term computer use. We all struggle with ego. We try to curb our desires for fame and fortune. We try to not make things into more then what they are. We try to not fall prey to misguided causes. We try to not emulate the worst television has to offer. We try don't we?
It's nice to know that while a recent Chicago law has been passed to stop raves with all those non-bar-attending-non-alcohol-drinking-commie-pinko-ecstasy-popping-ingrates. The law with such points as limits events to 2am and further tramples the spirit of fun and freedom.
In repsonse to this Wisconsin has declared polka the official state dance.
It makes me want to fire up Napster and download some Weird Al tunes right now!
5.24.2000 @
"They are simply unauthorized exploitations of plaintiffs' famous holiday songs for cynical commercial gain, with the lyrics of the original works replaced by lewd lyrics," the suit alleged.Litigation of commercialized parodies makes me wonder if the problem lies in the parody or the profit or both? When I read something from TPR like:
UPI: Canadian scien