Because my ego demanded it, it's the hastily thrown together Song (parody) page

Last Update Friday, 08-Oct-2004 17:50:00 EDT


I like ecstasy and to spoon

05.08.2003

( I like New York in June)

permalink
I like ecstasy and to spoon
How 'bout with you?
I like to dance & moon
How does it woo?
I love a naked ride
When a porn is through
I like your ruby lips
Held tight
And curvaceous hips
How's love due?

I'm mad about good looks
Can't snub my will
And to read James Joyce books
Give me a pill
Viagra
And I'm good to go
When all the lights are low
May not be true
But you like it
How about two?

I like illicit tokes
To a degree
I love the hippie folks
That includes me.
I like to go bar hop
Up any avenue
I like sweaty mosh pits
Late night bumping halfwits
How about Crue?

I love to dream I'm sane
Maybe I'm fine
I'd love to have a brain
Instead of mine
I can be
So over-amorely
And sexually free
Oh, what to do?
And I try it
How about you?

Who Put the Bomb

04.10.2003

(Barry Mann's Who Put the Bomb. Note:This is meant to be George W. Bush singing)

Orginal link permalink
I'd like to find the guy who bought the bomb
That made my Army have to cross the sea

Who put the bomb
In the 'raq I 'raq I 'raq
Who put the SAM
In the Irana llama wahab wong

Who put the DU
In the am shell am shell am
Who put the wham
In the ham as ham as ham

Who was that man, I'd like to bomb his land
He made my Jebby make me 43. YEAH!

When my Jebby heard
Chad cha cha Chad
Cha chad cha chad cha
Every vote went Right to 'dere part

And when I heard hawks singin'
Osama bin lama lama
Laden wahab wong
They said the bombing have'ta start

Who put the bomb
In the 'raq I 'raq I 'raq
Who put the SAM
In the Irana llama wahab wong

Who put the DU
In the am shell am shell am
Who put the wham
In the ham as ham as ham

Who was that man, I'd like to bomb his land
He made my Jebby make me 43. YEAH!

Each war we'd go alone
Wolfwity wolfwity wolfwity
Wolfwity wolfwity wolfwity witz
Wants all terra to go

And every time we glance to
Ham as ham as ham
Ham as ham as ham
He always says he loves Israel so

So who put the stomp
In this romp ra romp ra romp
Who put the plan
In the Irana llama wahab wong

Who put the DU
In the De ser De ser De
Who put the 'thrax
In the post off post off post

Who was that man, I'd like to bomb his land
He made my Jebby make me 43. YEAH!

Terra-ists, Bomb bah bah bomb, bah bomb bah bomb bomb
And my Saudi, scama alla wah hab forever
And when I say, DU safe DU safe DU safe DU
You know I fully studied and mean it without any deceptity deceptity deceptity shun

Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh
Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh

You've Lost All Sense of Feeling

04.10.2003

(Righteous Brothers' You've Lost that Loving Feeling. Note:This is meant to be Saddam singing)

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You never close your eyes anymore since I cut off your lids
And there's no sign of stress right before I slash at your ribs
I win elections I know it Ba'athy!
But maybe, maybe I'd throw it...

You've lost that sense O feelin'
Whoa, that sense O feelin'
You've lost that sense O feelin'
Now it's gone...gone...gone...Wooahooooh

Now there's no fearful look in your eyes when I reach for you.
And son you're starting to criticize tortures I do
It makes me long to hear crying, Iraqi!
'Cause maybe, my evil regime is dyin'

You've lost that sense O feelin'
Whoa, that sense O feelin'
You've lost that sense O feelin'
Now it's gone...gone...gone...Wooahooooh

Maybe, Maybe I'd cut you down to your knees one, two
If you would only scream at me like you used to do, yeah
I had a victim, a victim, a victim you don't find everyday.
So don't, don't, don't, don't let sense slip away.

Victim victim, victim victim,
Please beg me please please please, please
I need your pain, I need your pain, I need your pain, I need your pain
So bring your sense back, So bring your sense back
So bring your sense back, So bring your sense back

Bring back that sense O feelin'
Whoa that sense O feelin'
Bring back that sense O feelin'
'Cause it's gone, gone, gone,
And I can't go on,
Woh oh oh oh

Humma Humvee

04.09.2003

(Boy George's Karma Chameleon)

Orginal link permalink
Is there no clutch 'cause it gets in your way?
If I said I like stick, would I be gay?
I'm a man without good suspension
I'm a man never off-road
Your tires explode
Your tires explode

Humma Humma Humma Humma Humma Humvee
Your tires explode
Your tires explode
Pentagonal rim nuts
Fulfill my Darwinian views
Red, white and blue
Red, white and blue

Don't care how much gas I burn every day
Silly commie it's the American way
Love of size our sweet addiction
When we drive you hear this song
Blasting on the Monsoon system
You sing along
You sing along

Humma Humma Humma Humma Humma Humvee
Your tires explode
Your tires explode
Pentagonal rim nuts
Fulfill my Darwinian views
Red, white and blue
Red, white and blue

Every option is so vital
You just roll over your rival
Every option is so vital
You just roll over your rival

I'm a man without good suspension
I'm a man never off-road
Now I live a contradiction
Your tires explode
Your tires explode

Humma Humma Humma Humma Humma Humvee
Your tires explode
Your tires explode
Pentagonal rim nuts
Fulfill my Darwinian views
Red, white and blue
Red, white and blue

American Rights

04.07.2003

(Don McClean's American Pie)

Orginal link permalink
A long, Long time ago, I can still remember how those rights used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could mend things with France
And maybe they'd be happy for a while,
But September made me shiver
With every paper I delivered,
Bad news on the door step,
I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about our wounded pride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day freedom died. So...

Bye, bye to American Rights.
Drove by hate to a Police State
Too late for oversight
Them good 'ol boys drinkin night after night
Singing this will be the day that I fight,
This will be the day that I fight.

Did you write the book of Laws
And do you have faith despite its flaws,
If Ashcroft tells you so?
And do believe in "Let's roll!"
Can the military save your mortal soul?
Can tell me why our rights must go?
And can you teach me to kill real slow?
Well I know that you are after him
Cuz I saw him flash his evil grin
You both started terror schools
You dig fighting with no rules.
I was a lonely IT working drone
With PDA and a mobile phone
But knew I was out on my own
The day our freedom died. I started singin...

[chorus]

Now for over ten years we've been at his throat
And he murders people so for him they vote
But that's not how it used to be
When Rumsfeld shook hands with Hussein
To sell weapons to a man so insane
From taxes paid by you and me
And when the Dictator gassed his people down
Those men never made a sound
Moral outrage was adjourned,
No Senator seemed concerned
And while Bush read a plan by Wolfowitz
The hawks cried, "Let's Blitz!"
And we came out in fits
The day freedom died. We were singin...

[Chorus]

Helter Skelter in a Desert swelter
The doves no longer found shelter
The poet began her fast
It's the laws that falled freedom if they past
The patriots thought the law wouldn't last
With a 2005 limit within it cast
Now the half-life of DU we presume
Made the air and water safe to consume
We all got up to fight
We had the advantage at night
As the patriots tried to take Baghdad
The guards fought with what little they had
Do you recall when things went bad
The day freedom died? We started singin...

[chorus]

Oh and we were all for each race
To settle freely about the place
With no crime brought to a friend
So come on Iraq be simple, Iraq be quick
Iraqi clash cuts terror off at the wick
Because Osama is their only friend
Oh and as I watched him in his cave
A madmen none should ever save
No justice that those Towers fell
A scene seen straight from hell
And as planes were grounded from flight
Until it was thought things were all right
I saw terrorists laughing with delight
The day freedom died. They were singin...

[chorus]

I see a world that sings the blues
And I strain to find some happy news
But things gets worse I'm sad to say
I went down to the Senate floor
Where I heard freedom rang before
But the Men there said freedom wasn't safe anymore
And in the streets no children screamed
No lovers cried
No poets dreamed
The silence went unbroken
Red alert had our rights revokin'
And the Bill of Rights we admire most
Caught a spark and soon was toast.
The Day Freedom Died and they were singin...

[chorus]

Danke Schön

03.31.2003

(I didn't feel the need to change the title of Danke Schön)

Orginal link permalink

Danke Schön, darling Danke Schön. Thank you for that that link again. Paypal Ho's, second AIM account, was the place we'd meet, HaX0r L33t, go Aeron seat, we're in heat.

Danke Schön, darling Danke Schön. Thank you for chats since BBS time. I can be, online so anonymously, lamers whined, for your time, yours and mine, avatar's so fine.

Danke Schön, darling Danke Schön. Thank you for sending worms in spam. I reboot, Whatever Win it's moot, how we should upgrade, we were played, I was made, to purchase RAM.

Danke Schön, darling Danke Schön. Thank you for not posting a flame. Though we ping, from our separate sites, still google saves sans copyrights, for those nights, your site bites, Danke Schön.

A plea

03.26.2003

(original funk)

Orginal link permalink
When will the muse take me
Please don't you forsake me

I'm never knowing, my pain is growing
I try to hide, but it's always showing

They say that time heals. Today my mind reels
They say, "Give up" I've lost all my appeals

But in silence I hear a rhapsody
Attached within in timeless destiny

Forgive my trembling voice
For refraction of these words I do fear
When they pass from my heart to your ear

Forgive my stumbling voice
For satisfaction is what I want for you dear
And I pray that my heart comes in clear

Forgive my feeble choice
Of words as in my mind they do appear
I'm not blessed of wisdom or some great seer

Forgive me if I don't know
What to say to keep you from turning away
It's just a heart breaking. It happens every day.

Don't they blow?

03.26.2003

(Let it Snow)

Orginal link permalink
Just another great day O killin'
From those pals in the coalition of the willin'
Folks from France didn't want to go
Don't they blow, don't they blow, don't they blow?

It doesn't show signs of stopping
The many pound bombs that we're dropping
Those A-10 fly so damn low
Aren't they slow, aren't they slow, aren't they slow?

When we finally have Baghdad in sight
Oh, it won't be like Desert Storm
You bet we're ready for this fight
And get Saddam that sick little worm

As we hear the cries of the dying
We pray Bush wasn't lying
If it's the French that told you so
They still blow, they still blow, they still blow.

WTV

03.26.2003

(original funk)

Orginal link permalink
There's a fire in my belly
Watching war on the tele
And it's something I'm dying to share with you

There's a desire in my heart
Ever since this fight did start
And now I want to tear something in two

There's a siren singing loud
Don't smart bombs blowing make you proud?
Those M16s look so shiny and new

It's time once again for war
Cheer up! Don't be such a bore!
Stop thinking about all your bills past due

The charge of the Light Brigade
By Golly! We've got it made!
Lock & Load! Aim & Fire Hope it lands true!

All that evil we can't stand
Gone away, won't it be grand?
For a World Order shiny, bright, and New.

We're leading the human race

03.26.2003

(Put on a Happy Face)

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Foreign ties are going to clear up
We're leading the human race
Brush off the Dems. and gear up
We're leading the human race
Take off that gloomy gas mask of calamity
It's not your style
Get glad we're on the road to Baghdad
Just another bumpy mile
Watch out! A peasant with a hook!
Give his a beard a 9mm trim
And spread depleted uranium all over the place
'Cause we're leading the human race
We're leading the human race
We're leading the human race
And if you're feeling lost and skitterish
Don't forget those mines
Being split and blown to bit-ter-ish
And then on you worm dines
I know victory is looming
And how freedom will ring
Those Iraqi's will be free
With these rights we bring
So spread democracy all over the place
We're leading the human race
We're leading the human race

The World is not Over

03.16.2003

(orginal funk This folk song was inspired by Kimya Dawson . I had Heroes 2002 playing in my head when I wrote it.)

Orginal link permalink
Some make the music
Some supply the words
Some drink in short sips
Some down it in thirds

The humble ones waiting
Eyes cast down to their feet
Diplomats debating
Apocrypha replete

How rare does it ever benefit us all
How young do they look when they answer the call

It's another bridge crumbled
It's another route lost
It's another person humbled
It's another grenade tossed

Who makes butchers of men kings
And who offers him his hand
Who puts such value in things
And who only soils the land

How rare does it ever benefit us all
How young do they look when they answer the call

There's evil out yonder
There's trouble far and near
There's sickness grown stronger
There's something fed by fear

The world is not over, the world is not over
We can still play this hand
Find a four leaf clover
When we make our last stand

How rare does it ever benefit us all
How young do they look when they answer the call

Just a disembodied soul

03.09.2003

(David Lee Roth's Just a Gigilo)

Orginal link permalink
Just a disembodied soul
From the days of ole
Pagans know the part
I'm playing

Never late for a seance
Doing whatever they wants
They just drop and do some
Praying

There will come a day
When superstition will pass away
Boo ga Boo
Then what will they say
About me?

When I died long ago
To be just a disembodied soul
Afterlife goes on
Without me

'Cause I ain't got no body
No body wears on me
I'm so pale and glowy
Pale and glowy, pale and glowy
Won't some sweet spirit
Come swing low and carry away me
'Cause I ain't so bad

Get here anon to me shade
Been singing dirges
All of the time
Even only be, holy only, trinity
Aba Baelzubee Baelzubee Abracadabra

I ain't go no body 'cept a spectral spirit of love
Hamuli bonera ocella ochera
Hamuli bonera ocella oct

I ain't got no body, no body
No body wears for me
No body, no body
I'm so pale and glowy
Pale and glowy
Pale and glowy
Won't some sweet spirit
Come swing low and carry away me
'Cause I ain't so bad

Get here anon to me shade
Been singing dirges
All of the time
Even only be, holy only, trinity
No body for the likes of me

And it's only getting smaller every day.

12.24.2002

(orginal funk)

Orginal link permalink
Bush says I-a-raq has nasty MD odors of we-a-pons within it's borders.
An oil spoils got to be m-a-ined
And who knows what else they might find?

Can you understand my-a-thinking with such a war-a-brinking
How hard it is to root for hu-a-manity?
We kill for a mere bauble, great minds we vainly hobble.
Can we spare a little more Ch-a-rity?

It sud-a-dunly seeming to be peace-a-fully dreaming
Is Bligh-a-fully seeing concerning certain-a-other beings
Gotta want more near the need
'Cause we got a world to feed

About you

12.30.2001

(orginal funk inspired by the famous racist David Allen Coe)

Orginal link permalink
You drug-addicted, self-inflicted
Wound of a man
So deeply twisted and black-listed
For your friends in the Klan

You have to dig up forty feet to even make a stand
And you're ugly
Too ugly for anyone you see

You puss-encrusted, dandruff-dusted
Walking disease
So acne faced and toxin laced
Folks run when they hear your wheeze

You have to show two doctor's notes to get a whore on her knees
And you're ugly
Too ugly to get it for free

You under-brained, half-deranged
Walking lobotomy
So deeply dumb you suck your thumb
And try to hump a tree

You have to push so very hard you shoot splinters when you pee
And you're ugly
Too ugly for you and me

Mo Members Mo Problems.

01.22.2002

(Puff Daddy's Mo Money, Mo Problem)

Orginal link permalink
Now, Are you's hot or not?
Tell me who mock, who troll, out in the boards?
You tell me who flopped who cropped the blue backdrop
Who design got robbed, who's site is going down
To the winsock, the same ol' limp
Matt, you know ain't no big hit pimp
Can't stop till I reply that Bush is a wimp
Guarantee a million hits pullin for his love
You don't believe in nasty blasting for posts that's double up
We don't play around, use the search you lazy clown
Blogga didn't know me posted that URL almost three hours ago
I'm the young techie wizza with the Webbie crown
Can't no PHP scriptaz hold me down, hoogerbrugge
schooled me to the flash, now I know my duty
Stay humble, no gluttons, do buttons like Hoopty
True script kiddies hack but never gets no booty
And then ya yell there go Matt posting the kitty cutie

I don't know what they want from me
It's like the more members we let in
The more problems we see

Yeah yeah, ahaha, from the H-to-the-A-to-the-U-G-H-E-Y
know you'd rather see me cry than to let posts fry
I call all the shots
Rip all the fads, rock all the winsocks
Drop all the adpops, I know you thinkin now's
when all the trollin stops, blogga never
phones gotta IM me on the spot
Ten gigs of posts till my carrier's gonna drop
Yo, I thought excite@home would never flop
Now whatcha gonna rue when it's cool
lag a millisecond longer than yours
and a T1 much stronger than yours, trial fee?
that'll be the day, we don't pay
Mess around DMCA, be on your way
Cause it ain't enough crime here, ain't enough rhyme here
for you to whine here, deal with many scandal
but treat demes fair, and I'm
quicker than the city papers down in Times Square
Yeah, yeah yeah!

I don't know what they want from me
It's like the more members we let in
The more problems we see

Uhh, uhhh
M.P.3, P-R, O-N-Hey
No wonder, for the, DMCA
Federal agents mad cause defacing pages
Hack payroll, to improve my hommies wages
My T1 supreme, fast stream
Full screen bandwidth dream, I got that
fat pipes, see all my downloads sent
Frats play LAN Matt's gots WAN
Etoys, I told ya, been nice to know ya
Sues too much, You lose, too much
Step on dere page the nerds boo too much
I guess it's cause you run with old rules too much
Use em for a crutch, drop that
If I did, ain't no problem to get the plat
Where the true hackers at?
Post your Godwin's with your lie
See if yous ad hominems will fly
While I give your URL a try, member please
Satirically, bloggaz see, O.M.G.
be tossin jpeg on the main of Mefi
Five double posts, here's another self-linker
Your page loads to damn slow, It's got to go
Got to throw down posts, to Pekingese portals
Like quickzat, anachronous
fool feedback, leave your mind blitzzack.

I don't know what they want from me
It's like the more members we let in
The more problems we see

A musical / cannibal / hannibal/ rap / action / comedy! Will Smith, Anthony Hopkins, John Van Owen, Ice T, and more!

07.01.2002

(orginal funk)

Orginal link permalink
Got to tell you a story 'bout a catastrophe
Bout a bad ass mutha couldn't let rappers be
He goes by the name of Hannibul
I don't have to tell ya'll he's a cannibul
When he ate Vanilla Ice it was understandable
Vannilla flavor is a favorite though it's kind dull
So he took a big bite of Ashanti
Washed her down with some nice Chianti
(sucking vocal sound)
Then he went down to the city
Ate a piece of P Diddy outta pity
Then made Jello of J Lo
But just watched it wiggle overcome with the giggle
Cause he just had his fill of all of Cyprus Hill
(chorus)
Guess who's back? Don't offer him slack
Cause he attacks those cutting rap tracks
Guess who's here, he don't drink beer
Like his Ice Ts and all his homies!
(/chorus)
Truth tellin, I don't like what I'm smellin
Why I'm yellin? He's carving me like a melon!
(Anthony Hopkins)
What? You're not in the mood for my finger food?
(/Anthony Hopkins)
I don't mean to be rude or considered a prude
I can't stand to be served my own ass
And now I can't sit so I'm a taking a pass.
Whatta host offering up rump roast on wheat toast
(Anthony Hopkins)
Fresh Prince pasta with Biggie Smalls meatballs for ya'll
OG homie-style cooking, the best band I be booking
So all you rappers out there, take care, beware
'Cause I got room for you in my best Corningware!
(/Anthony Hopkins)
( repeat chorus a couple of times and end with the sounds of an oven buzzer)
(Anthony Hopkins)
It's done.
(/Anthony Hopkins)

The Ballad of John Namest

12.02.2000

(sung to the theme from the Beverly Hillbillys)

Orginal link permalink
Come 'n listen to my story bout a geek named John
Had a poor net connection that was hardly ever on
An' then one day, he was smoozing at Siggraph
An' along came Steven who was looking for some staff
Employee's that is. Silicon Gold! Code Warriors!

Well the first thing you know Alan wants to go
He said "There is something you should know."
Said "Justin Couch is the one we really need."
So we loaded up the truck, and moved at a slow speed
Crawled that is! Snails passed! Drank Gas!

Everyone got a new place, lawdy dey was swank
When we got our pay we were laughing to the bank
Some folks were worried that company wouldn't work
But the backers confidence seemed a real good perk
No worries, that is! Sitting pretty! Easy street!
Well now it's time to say goodbye to the company John was in.
The backer got cold feet from what some VC's were tellin' him
So he asked us all to take our leave just the other day
Pack your things, leave the key, and we'll send you your back pay
Voluntary dissolution that is. Locked out! Sent home! Game over!